Custody Hearing Day: What to Say, Ask & Get on the Record

The on-the-record requests

• 🎙️ "I request that this hearing be recorded." Same reason as every family-court hearing: no recording → no transcript → a crippled appeal. Ask first.First words
• 📋 "I request written findings of fact on the statutory factors." § 50-13.2(a) requires custody orders to include written findings on the relevant factors — including any domestic violence, the child's safety, and party safety — that support the best-interest determination. Where DV was alleged, ask for findings on the § 50B-3(a1) considerations too. Conclusory orders are appealable orders.§ 50-13.2(a)
• 📅 "I ask that the schedule be specific: days, times, exchange locations, holidays, transportation, and communication." "Reasonable visitation as the parties agree" is the most litigated phrase in family law — it means the gatekeeping parent decides. Hand up a proposed parenting schedule in writing; courts often adopt the only concrete plan in the room.Bring the plan
• 🛑 If visitation is being denied or stripped to supervision: "I ask the court to make the findings § 50-13.5(i) requires." Denying a parent reasonable visitation requires a written finding of unfitness or that visitation isn't in the child's best interest — and supervision conditions need a factual basis. Make the statute do its job.§ 50-13.5(i)
• 🧒 If the child's voice matters: ask properly. Request a guardian ad litem or custody evaluation where the issues warrant it, or an in-camera interview for a mature child — never put the child on the stand or relay their statements yourself (hearsay, and judges hate it).GAL / in camera
• 🧍 "I move to sequester the witnesses" (Rule 615) — and make offers of proof for anything excluded: "For the record, this exhibit would show…"Preserve
• ⏱️ Temporary-hearing housekeeping: ask how much time each side has before you plan your presentation, ask that the order be expressly designated temporary with a review/trial date set — an undesignated "temporary" order that drifts can be treated as permanent, raising the modification bar against you later.Say "temporary"

Presenting your case in the time you have

1. Lead with the documents: the parenting-time journal, school and medical records naming you, written co-parenting communications. Hand exhibits to the clerk in tabbed sets of three. Your evidence guide order of battle.
2. Testify to facts, dated: who does school runs, appointments, homework, bedtime — specific weeks, not "always." Propose your schedule and explain why it serves the child (school, logistics, continuity), not why you deserve it.
3. Cross-examine with documents, not adjectives: "You texted on May 2nd that he could come Friday, and on May 3rd you refused — here's the thread?" Short questions, one fact each.
4. Witnesses: teachers, coaches, pediatric providers, neighbors — people with first-hand knowledge of parenting, not friends with opinions. Subpoena the reluctant ones (AOC-G-100).
5. Objections when the other side leans on hearsay, speculation, or "he always/she never" character themes: quick guide.
6. Close on the statute: best interest, the findings you want, the specific schedule you propose. Then make every unmade request from the list above, and read the order before leaving — every term, every date. Calendar the 30-day appeal window that night.

What sinks parents in custody hearings

• Attacking instead of proposing. The parent who spends their 30 minutes on grievances leaves the judge with no plan to adopt — and an impression of conflict-seeking.
• Involving the child: coached statements, courthouse appearances, "tell the judge what you told me." Courts treat it as evidence against the offering parent.
• Absolute statements ("never visits," "always drunk") that one document disproves — taking your credibility with them.
• Violating the current order while asking for a better one. Clean hands are a prerequisite; your compliance record is Exhibit One, for either side.
• Litigating the DVPO again. If a protective order exists, the custody court knows. Relitigate it in the proper forum (set-aside/appeal, renewal); in custody court, show your parenting record and let the findings requirements work.

Frequently asked questions